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    7/31/2009

    090731

     

                                   uklife (360)

     

    精简了四次,回忆就只剩下那么一点。还不及我从网络这一头传到那一头花去的时间多。

    看到想念的面孔。然而这只不过是一个结束,然后是一个开始。

    7/23/2009

    猫觉得自己很老耶

                             

                                                        200506210333_525539

     

          她把自己十二分的真诚投入了琐碎的生活。生活则回报给她无数的欣喜、烦恼、可亲可爱的伴侣和朋友们。她那么坦然地面对离别。或者是因为她对自己深深的自信,了解与任何他人的关系最终都要以分别作结尾,只有深刻在生命里的回忆才是永恒的纪念。于是她不需要维系确定的亲密关系,来寻找价值和安全感。或者是因为她对他人存有戒备,要求安全的距离,对彼此的依附感到惶恐。所以她带了期许和恐惧一次一次地走开去到全新的陌生的地方。假如生活能平静地延伸,她也许会像波特一样,在某个时期肆情地创作,而在另一个时期安定生活。能遵从万物定期,最终心甘情愿地被自己所爱的生活本身淹没,这是多么美妙的结局。然而她被时间武断地拉出了这个轨道。她回到台湾,开始工作,在助手的陪伴下旅行,获得他人的关照。他们热情地为她扫除旅途的障碍,为着她能更快而纯粹地体验不同的风情,期盼她文字里独特的视角和体验。当她是个生活者的时候,她本身真诚热切但冷静,朋友们是她生命中挚爱的过客。然而这时她变成了一个旅行者,她失掉了生活的根基,自己成为了一个过客。当她不再有可以沉醉的生活,也许她的生命就已经结束。

    7/4/2009

    http://goldinuniverse.com/ fr xiaoxue

    Name: yan
    Date: 7/4/2009
    Colorgenics Number: 13407526


    You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.

    You are full of stress at this time. It would seem that you are having more than your fair share of trials and tribulations and you are looking for a way out. You are not quite sure which way to go but the advice is - 'Stop trying so hard'.

    Conditions are rather confusing at this time. You would like to involved with a particular person or a particular situation butyou are holding back. You find it difficult to make a decision.

    You are trying to prove yourself - not only to yourself but also to everyone around you. There is much that you would like to say and do but the situation warrants self-restraint and that is the last thing that you have on your mind. It would seem that you have an unsatisfied need to ally yourself with others whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to stand out from the crowd. This is subjecting you to considerable stress but you tend to stick to your attitudes despite lack of appreciation. Of course, you are finding the situation uncomfortable and would like nothing better but to break away from it but you don't like the idea of compromise. Your main problem is that you are unable to resolve the situation because you continually postpone making the necessary decisions. You feel that if you make the wrong choice this would lead to such opposition that you would not be able to command the esteem of others. It is essential that those around you are prepared to comply with your wishes.

    You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from within a close and harmonious relationship.


    7/3/2009

    here comes the saddest part 趴1 2 和3

    1.

    下午,天气转晴。这是我们一起走过无数遍的水泥小路。两边种植着高大的梧桐。深灰色的湿润地面上有斑驳的不规则的、树影,叶子本身被照成光明的浅绿色。这是往城中心的道路。我还记得你曾在上面哼起了歌,而我自己在无数次深夜独自走过它。穿着紫色衬衫的人骑车经过,他的衬衫被洗得有些发白。这一切沉默安静,并不与任何一个平常下午不同。这是我对于这个城市的最后一个记忆。

    2.

    从书店出来,已经开始下了很大的雨。没错,这是我熟悉的场景。雨点砸在大理石人行道上,发出大的声响。付钱的时候要排长的队伍,前面的男的轻骂一句shit。我在心里偷笑,觉得他有点儿装腔作势。然而自己在却在路边下意识地寻找等待的小园按钮。

    心里有不安。其他人都在大步迈向新生活,而我却还是一年前甚至五年前未曾离开时的我。我把生命中的一段无端地交付给另一个系统、另一个世界。这两个世界平行存在却又似有关联。归属的喜悦和对疏离的恐惧交织而来。哪一个更多一些?

    3.

    “当你的工作在你心目中有意义,你就有成就感。当你的工作给你时间,不剥夺你的生活,你就有尊严。成就感和尊严,给你快乐。”

    “如果我们不是在跟别人比名比利,而只是在为自己找心灵安适之所在,那么连‘平庸’这个词都不太有意义了。‘平庸’是跟别人比,心灵的安适是跟自己比。我们最终极的负责对象,安德烈,千山万水走到最后,还是‘自己’二字。”

    竟然遇到伯格里的传记。28块,包装印刷都有点粗糙,语言有传教色彩。还是买了下来。

    4.

    看到大宝写的日志,原来从大学毕业都一年了。希望大家都好。

    “运动场的右边是校医院,里面的一些医生比较像巫医,眼睛骨碌碌转一圈才下断定。当下不出来断定的时候,他们就决定给你转院,……”

    27日毕业游行的视频在youtube上,不过在国内看不到。newnham college graduation 2009,真可惜,我就在院长后面走,应该能看到我的无数小动作。